We Had A Promise Made
by jaimiee
Summary: One night to be confused, one night to speed up truth. We had a promise made, four hands and then away. To call for hands of above to lean on, wouldn't be good enough for me, no. BL
1. Kept Us Awake

**I am Mark Schwann. Happy? 3-parter at most. BL.**

He doesn't want to be here. He wants to be anywhere but here actually, without this stupid black suit next to this stupid black casket in this church that smells too much like flowers. There has to be a million people here, for the girl who was taken too young, but only a few who truly knew her. Their two year old sits in his crying mothers arms and she looks around curiously, wondering why everyone is so sad and where her mommy is. He stands ready to make his eulogy when a million images from that night flash in his mind

"_Luke." She whines, in the midst of another fight. Being married with a two-year old by 20 is bound to cause some problems. Butt her voice is different, not shrill and whiny, but painful._

"_What?" He sighs, exasperated. She screams out in pain and it scares him so much that he jumps back._

"_Make it stop, Luke! Make its stop. Ah, it hurts, it hurts Luke, God! Help me please!"_

"_Brooke! Brooke baby what's wrong, Brooke! Brooke!" He yells as her eyes drift closed. "I love you baby. I love you so much. Please come back to me."_

_She was pronounced dead before she hit the ambulance._

He stands at the podium, note cards in his trembling hands.

"I'm sorry." He says into the small microphone. "I can't do this." He walks down the few stairs and takes his daughter off his mother's lap and walks out. He can't do this, can't be here without her. He winds up in the cemetery, walking the familiar path to Keith. He sits their daughter Ellie down by his side and stares at the headstone.

"Hi Keith. I'm back, with Ellie. Listen there's something I need you to do for me. I know Brooke's probably already met up with you, somewhere. She hates to be alone… But anyway, I need you to take care of her. I know she could probably do it alone but she'll need someone to lean on eventually. And since I have to take care of Ellie, you need to be with her. Please just, make her believe that I love her, because God knows I didn't do that well enough." He says. Tears fall down his cheeks and he pulls Ellie close to him, looking into her blue eyes and at her moon-sized dimples. She looks too much like Brooke, with the dark hair and creamy pale skin. He pulls her into his chest and cries into her hair.

"I miss Momma." She says into her chest.

"I know babe. Me too."

- - -

It's another 30 minutes before everyone shoes up to bury her. He silently walks over, next to his mom, with Ellie clutched to his chest. She sucks her thumb and reaches up to play with the collar on Lucas's suit. He watches the casket lower into the ground and wants to jump on and protest and tell her to stop joking and come back, because he feels so alone without her. Just as Lucas feels his knees go weak, blonde curls appear beside him, and they share a look of complete and utter depression. Peyton take the baby from his arms, and Ellie's eyes brighten at the sight of her aunt, because it usually means her mom isn't far behind. But as her head whips around searching for the straight brown locks of her mother, she finds nothing. Her eyes fill with tears matching Peyton's and by now most people have left the grave sight, patting Lucas on the shoulder as they go. Peyton hands Ellie back to him and leaves and Ellie bursts into tears.

"I want Momma!" she yells, stamping her foot on the ground, hoping an intense temper tantrum would bring he mother back. "I want Momma now!"

Lucas breaks down at the sight of his little girl so upset, having no way to fix it and save her. He can't save anyone anymore. They sit in the graveyard crying as his mother watches with Lily and Andy from a distance, tears in their eyes too.

- - -

He comes back the day after and every day after that for a week but he doesn't say anything until today.

"Hey. Ellie made you this." He says, placing a small card on the ground next to her headstone. "I promised not to read it, she told me I couldn't. She really misses you. I do too. I'm sorry Babe. I'm so sorry." He says, falling against the stone and breaking down. "I promised you I'd save you. I promised and I failed because I couldn't do it. I hate myself and I hate this. This life without you sucks. We had a promise. Forever. You told me you'd stand by my side forever at our wedding. That you'd always be here for me. But your not. And you can't be." He says bitterly. "I love you."


	2. To Lean On

The tile floor is cold against his face, and it's about the only thing he can feel. The music plays from the little shower radio Brooke insisted they get and he can almost hear her singing Backstreet Boys and Britney Spears songs. His heart beats against the tile it's pressed too and the sound radiates through his mind. He stares out at the blue eyes that see right through him. He reaches out and stroke her dark loose curls and she giggles. Sticking her thumb in her mouth, she crawls over to her father's embrace and hugs him tight. He inhales the scent that follows her and she smells exactly like Brooke, figures since they were always attached to each other. He holds her tighter and they lay there, on the bathroom floor together.

"Daddy?" She asks in her 'inside voice'.

"Yeah Babe?"

"Can you get me Momma's shirt?" She says, looking hopeful.

"Yeah." He says, peeling himself off the floor and carrying Ellie to their room.

He grabs Brooke's favorite shirt, a faded blue one that was his first, and pulls it over his daughter's head. She skips out to the living room to watch Sesame Street and Lucas grips his hands tight on the drawer. He hasn't touched any of Brooke's things, and now he knows why. The tears fall from his eyes as he smells her scent drift from the open drawer. His knees buckle and he sits, clutching one of her shirts to his face, with his back to the dresser as the tears fall.

"Hey El." A voice sounds from the living room. "Where's your Daddy?" The footsteps start and get closer to his bedroom until a familiar face appears in the door. She doesn't say anything when she sees him, she just sits next to him as her own tears cloud her vision.

"What do I do?" He chokes. "Haley what am I gonna do?"

"I don't know." She says quietly. "I'm so sorry. I don't know."

Lucas and Haley sit there until Peyton appears in the doorway, Haley had called her over before she came, just in case. She starts shaking and he body is racked with tears. She sits next to Haley and grabs her hand, holding on for dear life.

- - -

Rachel comes to town, and Lucas remembers that he forgot to call her and tell her. She rings their doorbell with a happy face, glad to be home. For now.

"Hey Luke," She says when he opens the door. "You look like ass, what is Brooke keeping you up all night?"

"Rachel." He starts in a weak voice.

"Where is Brooke anyway?"

Tears form in his eyes as he stares at the girl who is completely oblivious.

"Momma's in heaven now Auntie Rachel." Ellie says, walking through the living room on her way to find a snack.

"What?" she says. "Lucas, what is she talking about? Where's Brooke?"

"Rachel."

"Where is Brooke?! Fuck Lucas where is she! Stop joking with me. Brooke come out from where you're hiding!" The redhead says as she frantically searches the room.

Lucas slumps onto the couch and cries again. He hates the way this feels, crying, it's such a girl thing. When Rachel sees him heaving in breaths and trying to control himself she breaks down.

"When?" She sobs.

"Last week." He says through the tears.

Ellie walks through the room again wearing Brooke's shirt, and climbs onto Rachel's lap.

"I missed you Auntie Rachel." She says. "I'm sorry Mommy made you sad. She makes me sad too."

- - -

"Auntie Peyton?" Ellie says. She's at Peyton house for the day.

"Yeah Ellie Belly?" Peyton answers, eyes glued to her work.

"Can you take me to see Mommy?"

"Yeah." Peyton says after a minute, grabbing the little girls hand and her keys. They drive to the cemetery as Ellie babbles about her favorite teddy bear Wilmer. Brooke told her that she should give her teddy a unique name and she makes sure to tell Peyton that, stumbling on the word unique. She walks the small girl over to Brooke's headstone and Ellie eyes darken when she sees her letter not opened.

"Hi Momma. I thought you would have opened my letter by now. That's okay though. I miss you Momma. I learned how to swim underwater and I'm not even afraid anymore. Auntie Haley taught me in her super big pool and I played with cousin Jamie. She blew up my floaties just like you used to when you weren't in heaven. What's heaven like? Cause I think I might want to visit you soon. How do you get a present to heaven? Cause your birthday is soon and I wanna give you something nice. I ate a red popsicle today. Auntie Peyton got it for me. I like blue popsicles better but red was your favorite so I thought that maybe it could be my new favorite too. Wilmer misses you too. He wants you to tuck him in and give him Eskimo kisses. I do also. Daddy does it, but it's not as good as you. Don't tell him that except. I love you Momma."

Peyton's got tears in her eyes as she scoops up the little girl and carries her back to the car.

"Don't cry Auntie Peyton. I'm gonna see momma soon." The little girl says with a smile.

**I don't know where to go from here but i changed that ending a little. So hiatus until i get an idea, so feel free to give me a plot when you review. haaaha.  
**


End file.
